“You can either douche, which some people do,” Young says, “but I don’t advise douching to everybody because they don’t know how to do it properly. You can go back to the conversation, you can go back another night.”īut if their concerns are dirt or hygiene-related, there’s almost certainly nothing to worry about. (Unless they’re into doctor and nurse play, in which case-get your white lab coat out.) If they’ve told you that they’d like you to play with their prostate but grow increasingly anxious once the clothes come off, don’t force the issue.
It’s understandable if your partner is a little nervous, especially if the only encounter they’ve had with their prostate is with a GP doing a very unsexy rectal exam. It really does require quite a bit of pressure on the prostate for it to be stimulating.” That’s why it’s a prostate massage, as opposed to a tickling or a rubbing. “It requires continual pressure… It’s more of a deeper massage than a caress. “You have to play with it, you have to massage it.”īut what level of pressure, massage-wise, are we talking about here? Are we talking about kneading-like you’re working at the world’s tiniest sourdough starter-or cute little flicks and rubs? “You’re close with the first description,” Lewis says. Once you have your finger inside them, “you actually need to curl the top of your finger-just like when a guy does it to your G-spot,” she says, describing it as a “come here” motion. "Don’t get overexcited yourself, it’s not about you-it’s about your partner." “Whoever is receiving the anal penetration is the one who is in charge,” she explains, adding that being able to control the depth of penetration also helps to relax the person receiving. Young also recommends asking your partner to push down onto you, rather than you pushing up. “Start moving once the receiver is a little more used to the feeling.” “In the first 30 seconds to a minute, let the receiver just get used to the sensation of having something up there,” Lewis says. Then, once they’re feeling relaxed and ready, you can slowly insert it in them. “The best thing to do is to take the lube and put it around the anus and inside the anus.” You and your partner can both do this to loosen them up and relax them, before dousing either a toy or your finger in lube. “Lots and lots and lots and lots ,” Lewis says. Both agree that lube is absolutely necessary.